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smokegrindsleep

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smokegrindsleep

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  • Number of visits : 23201
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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smokegrindsleep's page activity

Visits<b>Virince</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:30pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 10:39am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:39am<b>Jojul</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 8:06am<b>bmac221</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 6:22am<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:10am<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:37pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 7:24pm<b>zsorini2014</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 12:57am<b>Miniafroftw</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 11:30pm<b>edanos1</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 8:40pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 4:07pm<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 11:35am<b>24788</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 10:27am<b>writerxforever</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 10:05am

smokegrindsleep's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

smokegrindsleep's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (4927)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (3341)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#2854895
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50154) - you deserved it (4387)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (8875)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69566) - you deserved it (3740)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52378) - you deserved it (6213)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

#2798038
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (79534)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78810) - you deserved it (22091)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12675) - you deserved it (67955)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119714) - you deserved it (74044)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47816) - you deserved it (10385)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML

#2509070
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9099) - you deserved it (47535)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by thechad_144 - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (62356)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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