smileychik95

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smileychik95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 September 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3824
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About smileychik95 : My name's Kim. I'm 21 years old, still living at home. I used to go to OU until I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm in October of 2007. Now I'm at Columbus State, missing my friends like CRAZY! Want to learn more? Hit me up on AIM SmileyChik1206. :-)

smileychik95's page activity

Visits<b>Dumbledore91</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:07am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:16pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:05pm<b>D_waang</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:12pm<b>rawrsaysdino</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 6:48pm<b>24788</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 6:14pm

smileychik95's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

smileychik95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

by myparentsarehoes / 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML

by Unclicked / 08/01/2009 at 7:58am / Singapore / Love

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 11:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 8:11am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

by HidenSeek / 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

by batgirl / 11/20/2008 at 7:55am / Love