smartyjenla

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smartyjenla

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  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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smartyjenla's page activity

Visits<b>misslostnfound</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:18pm

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smartyjenla's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

by MotherofET / 07/11/2011 at 12:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML

by Rachael / 06/30/2011 at 11:08pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

by ash / 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

by thoughtitwasspecial / 05/18/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2011 at 12:41am / Animals

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

by goinginsane / 05/06/2011 at 3:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

by nuttedthefout / 04/28/2011 at 9:16am / Love

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

by Sivvus / 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm / Reserved / Transportation

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

by Cxisbest / 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health