This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14915) - you deserved it (31071)
On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58058) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (4802)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53716) - you deserved it (7014)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (5484)
On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (4348)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (21135)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (3053)
On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (13234)
On 09/10/2010 at 6:02am - work - by hard_headed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3849) - you deserved it (31961)
On 09/09/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (11342)
On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States
Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (4362)
On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (6362)
On 09/04/2010 at 1:15am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (25298)
On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
