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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42587) - you deserved it (485356)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106684) - you deserved it (9346)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112656) - you deserved it (8484)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45840) - you deserved it (81870)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461290) - you deserved it (573086)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (338238)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (338238)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I tried viagra for the first time. That was at noon, I still have an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (32490)
On 01/18/2009 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by boner_dude - United States (California)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (5251)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7981) - you deserved it (56913)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (2641)
On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (1694)
On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (5504)
On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (4633)
On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version
Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15615) - you deserved it (1976)
On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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