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smallbones

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smallbones's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94819) - you deserved it (6689)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72339) - you deserved it (5641)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (72837)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (72837)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45226) - you deserved it (121967)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62675) - you deserved it (4983)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71900) - you deserved it (4222)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118249) - you deserved it (6572)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75146) - you deserved it (5265)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44247) - you deserved it (5016)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

#2447996
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56936) - you deserved it (2797)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (86864)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197335) - you deserved it (31435)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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