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smallbones

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smallbones's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70590) - you deserved it (6046)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML

#5081613
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (5034)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:27pm - misc - by asdfjkl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (3498)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (5117)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (75006)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML

#4154215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (7182)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:11am - love - by adsfkerfmpo (woman) - United States (California) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

#4114414
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9854) - you deserved it (46558)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by flustered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49806) - you deserved it (7802)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59386) - you deserved it (5437)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35438) - you deserved it (94199)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)



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