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smallbones

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smallbones

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smallbones's favorite FMLs

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (18842)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31211) - you deserved it (7084)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14431) - you deserved it (36925)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (7581)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (23852)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70103) - you deserved it (12062)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (9012)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164747) - you deserved it (8193)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (2188)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52483) - you deserved it (6113)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (47199)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

#5389483
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49530) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71270) - you deserved it (3742)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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