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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (31274)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49101) - you deserved it (9409)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by stoopidRUnner (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (7660)
On 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by hey-o (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (2033)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10782) - you deserved it (43999)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72871) - you deserved it (13405)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (13596)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (29942)
On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (6171)
On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4921) - you deserved it (27551)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18159) - you deserved it (3879)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (6362)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3255) - you deserved it (24536)
On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dig into the ground and find a beautiful box, heavy enough not to be empty. I already imagine myself with gold coins. It's the corpse of a dead cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (3738)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - love - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (42508)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
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