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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77880) - you deserved it (3144)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42571) - you deserved it (5204)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (8391)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1151) - you deserved it (2532)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44539) - you deserved it (1920)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (4090)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (14217)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Teamarie (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (15126)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38586) - you deserved it (4789)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48526) - you deserved it (3011)
On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40149) - you deserved it (5162)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10797) - you deserved it (36154)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (5207)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (10573)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (8910)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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