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Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (9166)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10590) - you deserved it (50456)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (41817)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (2370)
On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States
Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (6955)
On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (3280)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (27353)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (91300)
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (24180)
On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41125) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (21059)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (7721)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (3006)
On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (3402)
On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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