This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (5002)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (2633)
On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (6252)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (7186)
On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (2399)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (43839)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (4217)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38153) - you deserved it (3578)
On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39365) - you deserved it (9033)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81030) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11233) - you deserved it (32366)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37527) - you deserved it (2377)
On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (10788)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
