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Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (1767)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36279) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (11756)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (52668)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (3650)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (2486)
On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (7150)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (11431)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (5001)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (3168)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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