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slowlybreakingme

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4733
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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slowlybreakingme's page activity

Visits<b>Vita_1</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:56am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:51am<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>steeler088</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:33am<b>funkybee</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:46pm<b>xavier5529</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:42am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:29am<b>rjt93</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:49pm<b>PastelPotatoes</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 10:54am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>klc20071989</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 10:18am<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Kimmismith</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Mlk313</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:39am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 8:33pm

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slowlybreakingme's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56596) - you deserved it (3891)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (8032)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51037) - you deserved it (4431)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48915) - you deserved it (2973)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48296) - you deserved it (5159)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60375) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60375) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62058) - you deserved it (13917)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (17810)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49757) - you deserved it (8170)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (48412)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (2393)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
182 comments


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