Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

slooby

Search for a member

slooby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3561
  • Number of comments : 199
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's page activity

Visits<b>AngelXsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:47am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:55pm<b>girlmostunlikely</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:19pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:33am<b>Toasterzombie</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:01pm<b>WiltedRoses</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:34am<b>i_luv_batman</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:49pm<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>girlrome</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:24pm<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Marlee141717</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:40am<b>willrich7</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 5:38pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:29pm<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:19am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:20pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:13am

slooby's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of slooby's badges

slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (9143)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22548) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (3635)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74703) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (1983)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (6353) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

#20084697
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (2115)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: