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slooby

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 1:58am) | Search for a member

slooby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4286
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's page activity

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slooby's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49204) - you deserved it (5268)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (11050)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (8533)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62868) - you deserved it (13799)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69830) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53464) - you deserved it (7505)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40793) - you deserved it (18022)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48369) - you deserved it (27256)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56765) - you deserved it (12730)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79534) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64891) - you deserved it (3942)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60571) - you deserved it (20235)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57013) - you deserved it (16036)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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