About slapsface : Hey what's up I guess your reading about me well...
*on the day of jan 22 2013 I talked to docbasterd*
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Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5963) - you deserved it (8013)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6328) - you deserved it (21273)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (1549)
On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5499) - you deserved it (15158)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (3871)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13246) - you deserved it (1020)
On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48451) - you deserved it (1783)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (969)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (3310)
On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36212)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (1196)
On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (3814)
On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you deserved it (7425)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (1744)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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