slapsface

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 6:17pm)

slapsface

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3675
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About slapsface : I don't know what to say.... I play xbox

slapsface's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:18pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:53pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:18pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:25pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:03pm<b>tom_willer67</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>xXlike_a_G6Xx</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:40pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:33pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:08am<b>prongs54</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:50am

slapsface's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of slapsface's badges

slapsface's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! / 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

by bunintheoven / 10/23/2012 at 12:21am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

by musicthief / 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm / United States / Love

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

by didntknowyoucouldbreakit / 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous