slapsface

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Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 6:17pm)

slapsface

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4320
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About slapsface : I don't know what to say.... I play xbox

slapsface's page activity

Visits<b>Spudnik</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 6:03am<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:18pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:53pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:18pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:25pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:03pm<b>tom_willer67</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>xXlike_a_G6Xx</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:40pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:33pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:08am<b>prongs54</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:17pm

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slapsface's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

by time to put you down, gran / 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

by Awkward / 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm / Bahrain / Health

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

by fieldmarshalclitter / 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

by goodbye cruel world / 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

by faen / 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

by comeuntome / 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

by Mimi / 11/29/2012 at 12:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

by stillshakinggd / 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK / 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Money

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

by mommycooks / 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous