About slapsface : Hey what's up I guess your reading about me well...
*on the day of jan 22 2013 I talked to docbasterd*
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Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (1731)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5172) - you deserved it (19398)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (2705)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5225) - you deserved it (10750)
On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (2061)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (24107)
On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (14972)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (2049)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6230) - you deserved it (61725)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States
Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (1313)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (1413)
On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States
Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (5652)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (1471)
On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14222) - you deserved it (889)
On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15736) - you deserved it (876)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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