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slapsface

Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 6:17pm) | Search for a member

slapsface

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2979
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About slapsface : I don't know what to say.... I play xbox

slapsface's page activity

Visits<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:18pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:53pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:18pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:25pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:03pm<b>tom_willer67</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>xXlike_a_G6Xx</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:40pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:33pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:08am<b>prongs54</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:50am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:59pm

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slapsface's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (2892)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (4874)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (1863)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (6610) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (2324)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

#20084489
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2231)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (7307)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

#20083494
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (26762)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (2114)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (20383)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (2893)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom



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