slapsface

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 6:17pm)

slapsface

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4028
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About slapsface : I don't know what to say.... I play xbox

slapsface's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:18pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:53pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:18pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:25pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:03pm<b>tom_willer67</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>xXlike_a_G6Xx</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:40pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:33pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:08am<b>prongs54</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:50am

slapsface's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of slapsface's badges

slapsface's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2012 at 11:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

by Nyquilwtf / 09/23/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Health

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

by Snickerfritz / 09/20/2012 at 5:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

by StupidBerk / 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Kids