STUFF
Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you totally deserved it (1046)
On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you totally deserved it (3649)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you totally deserved it (1652)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you totally deserved it (972)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you totally deserved it (12873)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16945) - you totally deserved it (11789)
On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn't know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his partner came out and I recognized him as my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you totally deserved it (4123)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:45pm - love - by Lil (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you totally deserved it (3523)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you totally deserved it (2565)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you totally deserved it (2312)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30034) - you totally deserved it (6302)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41678) - you totally deserved it (7602)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46339) - you totally deserved it (7690)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49970) - you totally deserved it (4029)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66131) - you totally deserved it (6578)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
