About skatoolaki : A formally-interesting person of interest with a passion for writing and graving, I am the proprietor of a long neglected website (skatoolaki.com) and blog (digitopus.com). As is apparent, I'm also a highly skilled and adept procrastinator.
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skatoolaki's favorite FMLs
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:40am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:00am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by 221bcompanion / 01/18/2016 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
by JoseIsAdork / 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by wtfiswronghere / 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Quicky5_ / 11/03/2015 at 1:58am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by snydeeli000 / 10/26/2015 at 11:41pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML
by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Work
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
- Today, I was discussing face shapes with a coworker. After we both agreed I had an oval face shape… Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought… Today, I found out im allergic to the medicine I use for nausea the side effect is throwing up, FML