About sk8_king : love playing football, xbox, and listening to music. I'm a pretty simple guy. also on a side note I hate grammar nazis. this is FML not freakin english class
sk8_king's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
sk8_king's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML
by yee-whore / 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML
by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by hockusa3 / 09/11/2014 at 11:44am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…