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siyafa

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siyafa

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  • Number of visits : 964
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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siyafa's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (12645)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (20926)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30290) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (4714)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47317) - you deserved it (5520)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (3091)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59871) - you deserved it (6399)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70205) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)



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