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siyafa

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siyafa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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siyafa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (30529)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (7173)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37102) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (11406)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19791)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (2159)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14668) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



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