Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

siyafa

Search for a member

siyafa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

siyafa's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of siyafa's badges

siyafa's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (4376)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52839) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

#16277369
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (3864)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30302) - you deserved it (2766)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57566) - you deserved it (4485)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38532) - you deserved it (5133)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (6271)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (12560)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67088) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: