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siyafa

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siyafa

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  • Number of visits : 743
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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siyafa's favorite FMLs

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
498 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47587) - you deserved it (5792)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (2381)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (4284)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45293) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (31119)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (3702)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2989)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (4641)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (4641)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (4641)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (3330)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (4222)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)



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