sisw

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Offline (the 11/09/2014 at 2:35pm)

sisw

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 721
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About sisw : I have braces, bad skin and a passion for video games. I'm loving life.

sisw's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:43am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 12:32am<b>QuickSmile</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 12:36am<b>awesommessofpies</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 6:23pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 3:14am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 10:32pm<b>chiefcloudrunner</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 2:09pm<b>showurlove</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 1:20pm<b>NutellaOmega</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>bjull8</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:18pm<b>cello90</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 3:26pm<b>AndrewsMover</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 11:14am<b>Asdruben22</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:14am<b>transamguy33</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:16am<b>mp1998</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 1:28am<b>floris</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 1:17am<b>vg101</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:38pm<b>dlforever</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 7:10pm

sisw's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of sisw's badges

sisw's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Work

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy