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sisteresss

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sisteresss
  • Town/Country : Left Nostril, Nose
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2290
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52771) - you deserved it (9113)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66616) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (12789)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (14542)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (47514)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (24287)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (12609)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39025) - you deserved it (3285)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)



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