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Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (7165)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (1994)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65179) - you deserved it (6888)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (4869)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17266) - you deserved it (12119)
On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)
Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (2546)
On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (11258)
On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (38942)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (4789)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (18571)
On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (2716)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (2308)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (12494)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (3266)
On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (2751)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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