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sisteresss

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sisteresss
  • Town/Country : Left Nostril, Nose
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (5527)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25061) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

#17293531
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (4826)

On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (2050)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (5002)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (41670)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you deserved it (6104)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12159) - you deserved it (31199)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (2428)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2083)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (6421)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46837) - you deserved it (7160)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (1990)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)



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