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Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (2669)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2189)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17617) - you deserved it (2674)
On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -
Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (4789)
On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33377) - you deserved it (3931)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (5643)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5511) - you deserved it (33820)
On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (5428) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (1638)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (1816)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22185) - you deserved it (1572)
On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (1914)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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