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Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14524) - you deserved it (3352)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (4938)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (2514)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (1515)
On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (4376)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (3224)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (2217)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (27075)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9442) - you deserved it (3296)
On 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
I agree, your life sucks (11958) - you deserved it (2646)
On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (1906)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (25147)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12714) - you deserved it (1782)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:04am - health - by kissrocks4 - United States (California)
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (2267)
On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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