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sisteresss

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sisteresss
  • Town/Country : Left Nostril, Nose
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2296
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1957)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (3382)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (5446)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (2002)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (5627)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (27569)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke. FML

#19497404
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12125) - you deserved it (4913)

On 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States

Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML

#19491584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (3009)

On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13130) - you deserved it (34865)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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