sisteresss

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sisteresss

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4224
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

sisteresss's page activity

Visits<b>sarika</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:07pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:15pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:34am<b>ricxrdusrex</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:18am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:03am<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:17am<b>Odannyboy</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:30am<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:18pm<b>cnguyen32500</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:30pm<b>igotds</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:22pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:28pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:12pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:56am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:29am<b>kak_999999999</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:59pm

Fucked!<b>winterforever97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:57am

sisteresss's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

by killme / 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

by Insane Guy / 12/21/2012 at 1:47am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

by Embarrassed / 08/07/2012 at 3:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

by donnap / 06/09/2012 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Health