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sisteresss

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sisteresss
  • Town/Country : Left Nostril, Nose
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2305
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51204) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28440) - you deserved it (8507)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (6873)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (7836)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34950) - you deserved it (3380)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (2038)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8490) - you deserved it (26937)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8589) - you deserved it (25472)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (3972)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)



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