sisteresss

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sisteresss

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4708
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About sisteresss : Twitter - @JuliaApplesauce
Instagram - @Twerkasaurus

sisteresss's page activity

Visits<b>lemon666</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 10:21pm<b>darkstep</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 5:56pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:55pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:48am<b>sarika</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:07pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:15pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:34am<b>ricxrdusrex</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:18am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:03am<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:17am<b>Odannyboy</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:30am<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:18pm<b>cnguyen32500</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:30pm<b>igotds</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:22pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:28pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:12pm

Fucked!<b>winterforever97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:57am

sisteresss's FML badges

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sisteresss's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

by imagrouch / 07/30/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

by Will this stupid fad ever end? / 03/06/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Work

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

by Ear Invasion / 01/26/2013 at 12:53am / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

by swollenpenis / 01/25/2013 at 1:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

by pigtails / 01/16/2013 at 7:21am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous