Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sirsquab

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 8:13pm) | Search for a member

sirsquab

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1741
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sirsquab's page activity

Visits<b>shmoooopie</b> - yesterday at 11:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:02pm<b>CassSomething</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:40am<b>unicorns_unite</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 6:40am<b>BezAndolini</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>oreoboy123</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 11:27am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:31am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:24am<b>PrussiaisAwesome</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:38am<b>Lauren2490</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 3:13am<b>SadderGirl01</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:37am<b>9lashes</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 11:34am<b>ririchan94</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 2:02am<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/25/2012 at 1:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:02pm

sirsquab's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sirsquab's badges

sirsquab's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (65477)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44843) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44696) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (83241)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (59101)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

#14971443
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (15285)

On 02/14/2011 at 8:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (3346)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11054) - you deserved it (31515)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (45483)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (10039)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62636) - you deserved it (8546)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: