Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sirsquab

Search for a member

sirsquab
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sirsquab's last visitors

BezAndoliniRicko_RamPrussiaisAwesomeWizardoLauren2490SadderGirl019lashesririchan94

sirsquab's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sirsquab's badges

sirsquab's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (111387)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (60891)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (3430)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (6005)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15935) - you deserved it (77890)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (56311)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

#14971443
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (14263)

On 02/14/2011 at 8:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9991) - you deserved it (29458)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6635) - you deserved it (41843)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57352) - you deserved it (7989)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: