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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Back from a party
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sibs's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
by psychopumpkin / 05/13/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Money
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
by walmart: first time, last time / 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
by charishard / 05/04/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
by annoyedgirl / 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML
by SSeizeTheDay / 05/03/2013 at 4:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work
by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
by SingleStrongArm / 05/03/2013 at 1:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…