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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
sibs's favorite FMLs
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
by Taco Hell / 10/19/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
by BrokeAsFuck / 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm / United States / Money
by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
by hurtinrealbad / 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
by triple l / 10/15/2012 at 4:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy