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sibs's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
by Anoymous / 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Work
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
- Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding… Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know… Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any…