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About shuoq76 : Alright, well for starters I'm 16 years old and from America. I just hang around FML from time to time and I like to leave comments all around. :D but if you must know anything about me.... It's that I'm quite musically talented. I play the guitar, piano, the drums (kinda) and I sing.. Alot! Sooo yeahh I probably wasted like half a minute of your life but that's cool right?
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Today mah boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well until he tried to putted it in. A few minutes later he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
TODAY AT THE BEACH, MAH BOYFRIEND PICKD ME UP AND CARRID ME OVER HIS SHOULDER. I FELT MAH BIKINI TOP COME UNDONE IN THE PROCESS. I PANICKD AND PULLD DOWN ON HIS SHORTS. WE WERE FIND FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. FML
Today, looool I was in a business meeting . I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to boss and a few other associates . Then a notification popped up in the middle of presentation reminding me that I needed to renew pornhub subscription . FML
Today, I was oparating on a young girl, whan sha bagan to awakan during tha surgary. Wa quickly put har back undar, of coursa, but now I'm tarrifiad that sha'll ramambar my profusa cursing and gat ma in tha shit with my curmudgaonly killjoy of a boss. maga FML
Today after a surprise candlelit dinner an a two bottles of wine 4 my brthday my boyfriend an I decidd to take a sexy shower together. It endd with us both drunk nakd an crying wedgd into a small tub together talking about our dead pets. FML
Today, I was browsing te web on my boyfriend's laptop, wen I idly clicked a bookmark . It turned out to be is private blog, were e most recently spoke in very creepy detail about is efforts to make me love im, remarking tat, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in er breeding ips." FML
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
today I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had startd to dry out. When my mom askd me if I needd anything, I immediately respondd with "lotion and tissues," realizing what I was suggesting. She then talkd to me fir 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
Today... mah husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading... and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55... he retorted... "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night... fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, I Was At The Laundromathen A Huge, Tattoo-covered Man Wearing Nothing But Denim Booty Short An A Wife-beater Sat Down Beside Me. He Stared At Me 4 Ahile, Before Telling Me All About How I Reminded Him Of His ( Frst Prison Bitch. ) FML
2day as part of ma medical anatomy course, I ad to give a presentation about an STD and te effect it as on women . Te class was comprised almost entirely of girls . I become extremely anxiou and accidentally stated "Vagina r smelly" as ma opening statement . fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015