About shuoq76 : Alright, well for starters I'm 16 years old and from America. I just hang around FML from time to time and I like to leave comments all around. :D but if you must know anything about me.... It's that I'm quite musically talented. I play the guitar, piano, the drums (kinda) and I sing.. Alot! Sooo yeahh I probably wasted like half a minute of your life but that's cool right?
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shuoq76's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
by potassiumgirl / 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
by rescuetheduck / 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Work
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
by Cass / 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- Today, my last day before I leave for maternity leave, I come home to a raging sinus infection. The… Today I walked in on my parents. I know, it happens to everyone but this was different. My mom was… Today, I posted a cute video of a kid dancing in my work Facebook group. One manager threatened to…
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…