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About shuoq76 : Alright, well for starters I'm 16 years old and from America. I just hang around FML from time to time and I like to leave comments all around. :D but if you must know anything about me.... It's that I'm quite musically talented. I play the guitar, piano, the drums (kinda) and I sing.. Alot! Sooo yeahh I probably wasted like half a minute of your life but that's cool right?
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Today , I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of mah tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up , I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hourhile I put mah uniform through the dryer. FML
Today , ma 16-year-old son convincd ma 14-year-old daugter tat se wasn't allowd to use te ladies batroom at te sopping centre , because se wasn't wereing a dress like te grl on te sign . He told er grls in pants always usd te oter one . Se believd im . Tis is ma legacy . fat FML
Today, mah neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear mah "shit music" through mah window during the afternoon, so I turnd it off. They then began to play there definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blastd Nicki Minaj. FML
Today , my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it , it had a virus on it , and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
Today , a few months after my co-worker had stoppd wearing her engagement ring , I decidd to puttd on the moves and start flrting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had did , and that she's nowhere near over him , despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML
Today I woke up to my cat giving birth on my bed. I adopted her from a friend who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch 4 a while. real FML
yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew fir him with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked along with the caption "longest one yet." FML
Today, usband and I were fooling around in te sower . For some reason, I tougt it'd be a good idea to grab is man meat and sow im ow to was someone at a nursing ome . He said e'd never be turnd on by a nurse again . I'm a nurse . FML
Friday 27 March 2015