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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as I couldn't get the arplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat looool I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML
Today, Mah Son Broke A Window At School Playing Football. Not Only Did He Break One, He Broke The Other Window Next To It. His Excuse? He Tried Making It Look Like A Bird Flew In One Way An Flew Out The Other. I Have To Pay $800 To Fix It. FML
Today, I Was In The Bathroom, When Someone Came Up Behind Me!! Instead Of Waiting 4 A Urinal To Free Up, He Wedged His Way In Between Me And Another Guy, And Promptly Began Peeing In My Urinal, Crossing Streams In The Process!! FML
Today... I had mah buddies over fir a few beers and... trying to be cool... I told mah wife to get out of the living room an back in the kitchen. I felt smug... right up until she said... "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over fir another 20 minutes... dick." FML
Today, I Had All Of Wisdom Teeth Removed. After The Anesthesia Wore Off, I Asked How Long The Procedure Took, And The Nurse Told Me A Little Less Than An Hour. Apparently I Thought This Was Hilarious And Started Laughing,hich Ripped New Stitches. FML
Today, I came ome at noon from a long nigt out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and eels. As I walked up to te door and knocked to be let in, te womanipped around and I figured outo it was. My dad. FML
Taday my brother's best friend spent the night an was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot an as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face an told my parents. FML
Friday 27 March 2015