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shostakovich

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shostakovich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8172
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shostakovich : Human.

shostakovich's page activity

Visits<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:11pm<b>Master_Of_Sand</b> - the 10/02/2010 at 11:20pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 6:49pm<b>Fentown</b> - the 04/28/2010 at 8:10pm<b>Redneck325Ci</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 4:18am<b>chicken_lover</b> - the 01/17/2010 at 1:09am<b>ha</b> - the 11/28/2009 at 11:45am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 10/19/2009 at 10:26pm<b>starflight</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 11:37pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 8:31pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 4:45pm<b>KellyNora</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 4:45pm<b>plexico</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 4:38pm<b>chveya</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 4:13pm<b>gardenho</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 4:05pm<b>jeremymg91</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 9:49pm<b>Sourcandy86</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 6:17am

shostakovich's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shostakovich's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55498) - you deserved it (2908)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

#3855655
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52848) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML

#3781020
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46521) - you deserved it (5317)

On 07/15/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by ughhh123456789 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45769) - you deserved it (11508)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

#3690110
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (52615)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by divineinstrument (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60311) - you deserved it (7208)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46752) - you deserved it (18090)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44324) - you deserved it (15337)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (12009)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49930) - you deserved it (21145)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

#2929897
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (3277)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

#2929897
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (3277)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80780) - you deserved it (5545)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

#2428184
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (14187)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by yumx24 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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