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shorty6823's favorite FMLs
by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy
by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm / Pakistan / Love
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 6:29am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 11:35am / United States / Work
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BadAssBandit897 / 02/23/2013 at 8:46am / Canada / Love
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm / Australia / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love
- Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last… Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the… Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I…