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Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 7:19pm) | Search for a member
About shoopd : Well, let me start by saying
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yesterdayhile I was on stage dancing fir a competition dress rehearsal, mah top fell off, exposing mah breasts . I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it . That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML
Today, I was so bakd out of mah mind that I argud with mah parakeet over who fartd!! I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument!! Worse still, mah boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting!! FML
Today, two drop dead gorgeou Australian asked me fir directions. Being so shocked by their beauty an accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
yesterday I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, ( Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable. ) The entire room burst into laughter. FML
TODAY MY FRIEND'S KID CHASED ME WITH A RUSTY SHARP TENT PEG AND THREATENED TO KILL ME. WHEN I FINALLY GOT HIM TO CALM DOWN HE RAN OFF TO HIS ROOM. LATER I FOUND THE TENT PEG UNDER HIS PILLOW WITH A NOTE THAT SAID MY NAME. MY FRIEND THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS. I AM STAYING HERE 4 A WEEK. FML
today mah dad finally met mah girlfriend. Unfortunately , he was driving the ambulance that she was in , due to severe alcohol poisoning an was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Today , I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now , every time that we have sex , that song is going to be stuck in my head.
Friday 27 March 2015