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shoopd

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shoopd
  • Town/Country : NJ, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1421
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shoopd : Well, let me start by saying





















Nothing at all.

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shoopd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (39130)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (2292)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34314)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (8650)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15594) - you deserved it (3204)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

#19327159
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6029) - you deserved it (18835)

On 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

#19301320
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9002) - you deserved it (14122)

On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (1927)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (6535)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

#19005217
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7247) - you deserved it (33130)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by tkr (woman) - United Kingdom



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