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shoieb9

Offline (the 03/27/2014 at 4:56pm) | Search for a member

shoieb9

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5580
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shoieb9 : Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

- Skittles

shoieb9's page activity

Visits<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:01pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:36am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:59pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:04pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:08pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:33am<b>Eohlas</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:55pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:55pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:27am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:09am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:37am<b>xoxkaeliii7</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:54am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 6:12am<b>rj1330</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:58pm

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shoieb9's favorite FMLs

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40333) - you deserved it (21396)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (5780)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59763) - you deserved it (7152)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26317) - you deserved it (96737)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55206) - you deserved it (28145)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71130) - you deserved it (14590)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (87211)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82160) - you deserved it (3849)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119516) - you deserved it (73983)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (57905)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (78299)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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