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shoieb9

Offline (the 03/27/2014 at 4:56pm) | Search for a member

shoieb9

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5683
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shoieb9 : Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

- Skittles

shoieb9's page activity

Visits<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:01pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:36am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:59pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:04pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:08pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:33am<b>Eohlas</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:55pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:55pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:27am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:09am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:37am<b>xoxkaeliii7</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:54am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 6:12am<b>rj1330</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:58pm

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shoieb9's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (4122)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7441) - you deserved it (48767)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (3172)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34568) - you deserved it (6047)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15495) - you deserved it (21286)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

#6635379
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (16521)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (9724)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

#6411627
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7765) - you deserved it (23760)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (5703)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (34502)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)



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