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shoieb9

Offline (the 03/27/2014 at 4:56pm) | Search for a member

shoieb9

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5565
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shoieb9 : Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

- Skittles

shoieb9's page activity

Visits<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:01pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:36am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:59pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:04pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:08pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:33am<b>Eohlas</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:55pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:55pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:27am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:09am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:37am<b>xoxkaeliii7</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:54am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 6:12am<b>rj1330</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:58pm

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shoieb9's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (2656)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (6817)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

#8120945
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10460) - you deserved it (29660)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by NC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49977) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

#7420150
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7624) - you deserved it (38782)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23273) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (2751)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (9767)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (36420)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (37576)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8463) - you deserved it (23350)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (29257)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11657) - you deserved it (18623)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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