shoieb9

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Offline (the 03/27/2014 at 4:56pm)

shoieb9

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 April 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7214
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shoieb9 : Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

- Skittles

shoieb9's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:35pm<b>slowlearner</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:00am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:25pm<b>blawho</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:18am<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:01pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:36am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:59pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:04pm<b>alljackedup7</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:08pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:33am<b>Eohlas</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:55pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:55pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:25pm

shoieb9's FML badges

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

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shoieb9's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

by drew / 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML

by wearingshorts / 08/28/2010 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

by DyingOfShame / 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

by pandaboo / 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

by highschoolgrad / 06/08/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

by Username / 03/18/2010 at 4:21am / Intimacy

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

by Bushfan101 / 03/17/2010 at 8:48am / Intimacy

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

by ohno / 03/10/2010 at 6:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love