Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shoegal808

Search for a member

shoegal808

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 45777
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shoegal808's page activity

Visits<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:56pm<b>willywaffle</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:52pm<b>snowboardflips</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:49pm<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:09pm<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:48pm<b>beechbum_trey</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:37pm<b>thatguy130</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:12pm<b>rob02</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:30am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:05am<b>r_bruce69</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 6:12pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:36am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:12am<b>nikimarie01</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:10am<b>Kauer</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:44am<b>wtffml69</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 2:18pm<b>Smariom</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:05pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm

shoegal808's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shoegal808's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (15074)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70370) - you deserved it (4212)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47500) - you deserved it (6386)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10857) - you deserved it (32205)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62969) - you deserved it (15998)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (19420)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

#4856467
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42840) - you deserved it (2173)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (3278)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

#4406173
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8799) - you deserved it (50879)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:23am - health - by Brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53433) - you deserved it (16136)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49771) - you deserved it (7801)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#4111292
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (23613)

On 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by porkfriedlife - United States

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (38646)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47258) - you deserved it (5285)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: