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Offline (the 08/22/2015 at 1:42am) | Search for a member
About shinymaster3000 : Searching for the right girl
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML
Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
Today, I saw my friend at the mall. He didn't see me, so I called him to say "Turn around." He took one look at his phone, snorted loudly enough for me to hear from way off, and put it back in his pocket. FML
Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML
Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML
Friday 28 August 2015